Often recited as a piece of poetry, this served me well at several hunt suppers!

A farmer's dog came up to town, his christian name was Pete,
His pedigree was two yards long, his looks were hard to beat,
And as he trotted down the street, it was beautiful to see,
His work on every corner, his technique on every tree.

He watered every gateway, he never missed a post
For piddlin was his masterpiece and piddlin was his boast,
The city dogs stood looking with deep and jealous rage,
To see this little country dog, the piddler of the age.

Soon every dog from far and near was summoned with a yell,
To sniff this stranger over and judge him by the smell,
They sniffed him beneath his puppy tail, their praise for him was high,
And when one sniffed him underneath, Pete piddled in his eye.

They sniffed him over one by one, they sniffed him two by two,
The noble Pete in high disdain stood still til they were through,
Then, just to show these city dogs he didn't give a damn,
He went into the Grocers shop - a piddled on the ham.

He piddled on the onions, he piddled on the eggs,
And when the grocer threw him out Pete piddled on his legs
Behind him all the city dogs decided what to do,
They'd hold a piddlin carnival to let him know who was who

So they showed him all the piddlin posts they knew around the town,
And started off with many winks to wear this stranger down,
They sent for champion piddlers who were always on the go.
And sometimes held a piddlin sweep or held a piddlin show.

But Pete went piddlin merrily on, his hind legs kicking high,
Whilst most were lifting legs in bluff or piddlin rather dry.
So on and on Pete sought new ground on which to lay the dust,
Til the city dogs were all squeezed dry and gave up in disgust.

Then Pete an exhibition gave of twenty ways to piddle
With fancy little double drips and now and then a dribble
And with the day over and the race well won
Pete piddled out of town the way that he had come!